I'm thankful my kid is queer!


Connection
The latest from Jennifer Boudrye, Parent Educator & Coach

Hello, Reader!

This past weekend my adult kids and I traveled from Virginia, California, and New York to gather at my middle daughter's new home on the Idaho/Washington border. We came to celebrate her husband's installation as the new pastor at a truly wonderful and welcoming church and to have an early Thanksgiving together. I'm grateful we were able to get together because it may be a very long time until we are all together again. We definitely packed a season's worth of traditional dinners, celebrations, laughter, and sharing into just a few days!

As dictated by the season, I'm taking time to think about what else I'm grateful for, and I want to share with you that one thing I am incredibly grateful for is that my son is queer.

  • When he was born did I expect he would be queer? Nope.
  • When he came out as bisexual did I understand what that meant? Not entirely.
  • Am I sometimes afraid for his safety, and concerned about what the future holds for him? Absolutely.

I help parents and individuals work through a process of compassion, awareness, respect, and empathy (CARE), here are some examples of how I'm utilizing this process in my own life right now.

  • Compassion: Compassion activates action. We all want to protect and help our kids. I worry about my son's physical and mental health and as a former librarian, I tend to send too many "helpful" articles and resources. I am learning to wait for him to ask, and am grateful that he knows how to access the care he needs when he needs it.
  • Awareness: You may have missed an earlier email in which I revealed that my son recently shared with me the harm I did to him because my limited awareness of the amazing and wonderful array of LGBTQ+ identities led me to have a "pick a team" mentality when he was younger. My limiting beliefs caused him to hide his bisexual identity from me, and perhaps from himself, for too long. I am grateful I now have a much better understanding of his identity.
  • Respect: This increased awareness has led me to be much more respectful in the language I use - impact will always outweigh intent. I take accountability for the impact my words and actions had on my son while he was discovering his true self. I am grateful that my son and I have repaired that harm and continue to deepen our relationship.
  • Empathy: I am willing to hear and believe my son's feelings when I mess up (which I do, because I'm human) without trying to help, fix, deflect, or deny. Empathy ignites connection and I am so incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to simply be there with and for him.

So, why am I grateful that my son is queer? Because here we are, many years into this journey and he is alive and thriving. I can say without hesitation that I am absolutely grateful that my queer son is living his truth, unapologetically, and completely. He made it through the challenges of adolescence, college, and early adulthood. I know that he will continue to grow in his confidence and self-discovery. I know that he will be a wonderful partner and a truly amazing father someday.

I am grateful that my son IS. Because too many queer kids don't make it.

Please take time this holiday season to let your kids know how grateful you are for their existence, for the lessons they teach you, and for the opportunity they give you to grow in your ability to love.

Reader, as always, I am grateful that you welcome me into your inbox. Is there something you need to discuss right away?

Sending you all the positive vibes you need today and every day!

Jennifer Boudrye (she/her)

Founder, Queer Camp Fair & Parent with C.A.R.E.

Connecting families with LGBTQ+ children to the information & resources they need.

info@queercampfair.com | info@parentwithcare.com

IG & FB @queercampfair | IG & FB @parentwithcare



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Discover + Connect + Thrive
Uniting Affirming Camps & Families

Compassion, Awareness,
Respect, and Empathy
to be the affirming allies
queer kids need and deserve

PS - no Parent With Care Connection call this week - we are all too busy prepping for Thanksgiving tomorrow!

Hi! I'm Jennifer Boudrye, Parent Coach.

I help parents of LGBTQ+ youth to understand, connect with, and celebrate their kiddos! Check out the resources I offer and sign up for my newsletter!

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